It began with a single white rose sitting at the front of the church during a funeral for my sister-in-law who was killed by a drunk driver. The rose stood out, partly because white roses are somewhat uncommon and because it stood alone, unencumbered by other roses or other flowers.

The rose was sent by the DUI Victim Center - a common first step in helping families to become aware of their services. The rose became a symbol of the Center's services that followed: providing counseling services for family members, guiding and directly assisting with court proceedings and offering support groups.

Annual candlelight vigils sponsored by the Center serve as a memorial service for families, honoring all those who have died at the wheels of drunk drivers. Standing in Old Town's Market Square listening to "Amazing Grace" being played on bag pipes helped me to continue working through my grief.

Throughout the time following the tragedy, the staff served as a sounding board, providing beneficial outside source to talk to that was knowledgeable, compassionate, but not as emotionally involved as family members. The Center blends procedural/financial assistance with the human aspect of grieving and healing from tragedies caused by drunk drivers.

Panels consisting of family members of loved ones or surviving victims of drunk drivers occur on a weekly basis through the center. Every member of the audience has been issued a DUI and ordered to attend as part of their sentencing. In the format, coordinated by Mary Ann and her staff, panelists tell their personal stories for the cause of awareness and prevention of drunk driving. Most persons issued a DUI don't ever think they would cause harm to someone else. Comments from the panels indicate that for at least some, the message is effective.

After the death of my sister-in-law, I became a regular presenter of the panel. This also helped me to work through the grief and give some purpose to the senseless tragedy that took my sister-in-law's life.

My sister-in-law was loved by her husband of almost twenty years, two teenage sons, many other family members, many friends, students she taught, church members she serviced, hundreds of community people she touched. She was a quiet, diligent, faithful person who never fathomed how many lives she touched in her 40 years.

Mary Ann and the staff are involved in legislative changes, at the local, state, and national levels. They assist families in recovering from tragedies. Education/prevention programs.

There are many changes going on in our world, but the continued services of the DUI Victim Center to families are invaluable to families.

The DUI Victim Center provides important services to families - mine and many others. Without them, families would be left to navigate the waters of grief and legal alone.

I wasn't the only one that took special notice of the single rose.

One of my sister-in-law's sisters had this to say:

"At Kaye's memorial service, the sanctuary was filled with flowers and plants, yet there was a single white rose that stood alone among the entourage. The person sent the flower anonymously, but we found out something about her.

Ruby, a florist in Kaye's hometown, received a call from a florist shop in Wichita. A woman had ordered a single white rose that she wanted sent in memory of Kaye. The hometown florist asked whether she could substitute the order with a different color because she didn't have any white roses at her shop.

"No, the Wichita florist said, "her customer says it must be white." It seems this woman, who had experienced the tragedy of loss by a DUI driver, sends a white rose to families of DUI victims. Ruby decided to make a special trip to Wichita to get white roses so she could fill the order.

That woman was Mary Ann Khoury, Director of the DUI Victim Center.

DUI Victim Center of Kansas•355 N. Waco, Suite 220•Wichita, KS 67202•316.262.1673

KANSAS HELPLINE:
1.800.873.6957